Where do I start?
It has taken every muscle in my ten fingers to type how sad it feels to *actually* lose someone. I knew it was going to happen one day, I just didn’t know I wouldn’t have an inkling that it would happen this soon and quickly!
Backing up a little bit – Raja has been a part of our family for as long as I can remember. I still remember my Mom telling me that they got a pet dog as I left home for my high school education (we call it Junior College in India). I was not sure about the feeling. I was glad that my Mom had a company but at the same time, I thought her love was going to be shared – which I didn’t like. Anyway, I was a much different person a decade ago, so I don’t blame the old Milind to feel like that. Very fondly, my Mom named him Raja, which she used to call me with love. That might be the other reason for the “jealousy”.
I have come a long way in dealing with this feeling in the last few years. All these years, Raja has been a constant companion to my Mom and the rest of the family members through all times. Me and my sisters – all left home at some point in time, but Raja was always there by my parents’ side. When my parents visited relatives in another town or state, Raja used to patiently wait for their return right by the doorstep. Whenever there used to be guests at our house, Raja used to either shower them with love or bark at them (livery all dogs do) 😆
If you have been to India or know anyone there, you would know that there is a huge problem with stray dogs. My town is no exception. But, with Raja at our doorstep, we never had to face any hassle due to stray dogs as they stopped coming to our neighborhood, especially our house, as Raja used to sit at our doorstep all the times.
All these years, whenever I visited home, I grew closer to Raja and realized him as an integral part of the family. I still remember those evenings when Raja used to come home running to our house whenever he used to hear the sound of my Dad’s moped returning from work. That was both sweet and hilarious how Raja used to figure out the sound of my Dad’s moped even though there were many vehicles like that in our neighborhood. More often than not, both my Dad and Raja used to arrive at our house together and Raja used to jump on my Dad in excitement.
When my parents were in the US for a couple months, I didn’t realize what Raja might have gone through not seeing them for so long. That is why when my parents returned home, Raja was simply overjoyed. He couldn’t keep calm and started immensely jumping up & down for a good 5 minutes. He didn’t leave my parents for those 5 minutes, telling them not to leave him again! After that incident, he never (& I repeat, never) left my parents alone for more than one day, to make sure they don’t leave him again for a long time like that.
All these memories definitely brought tears to my eyes, thinking about Raja and our life without him. When my family broke the news to me, I was absolutely heartbroken. I wasn’t prepared for this at all and wished there was one more chance to see his smiling face, just one more time. Not having a chance to say one last goodbye is what I regretted the most!
When I broke the news to my friends, everyone was so supportive and their kind words helped me soothe. I knew it would take me some time to come to reality and it really did! Even though it has been a couple weeks now, it doesn’t seem like that and whenever I see a dog, that reminds me of Raja! Raja has left a void in our lives, which is hard to fulfill.
Hope you had a good life, buddy! I will hold onto your memories tightly. We will miss you, Raja!
stochasticity 
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